It’s a lot easier to reject ourselves than it is for others to reject us. And so, we put up all of these walls and we stop ourselves from allowing others in. If I don’t let anyone get to know me, they will never have an opportunity to leave or to reject me. The trouble here, is that they will never truly have an opportunity to show me love either. Let’s talk about that, together.

It’s really difficult to pin down exactly what it means to be “me”. Some philosophers have talked about the idea that a person’s identity is based on how they act when they think no one is looking.

When I was younger, I fell in love with a man. He was charming, witty, clever, exciting, and brilliant. Oh, he was brilliant. He almost always could figure some clever way out of whatever impossible situation he would find himself in. This would happen often, for he had quite the knack of letting his curiosity get the better of him. Could never resist a good mystery. Which is strange, given how closely he keeps his past to his chest. I never knew his name because he always just called himself “The Doctor”. Just “The Doctor”. What I did know was that he was an alien; just like me. We traveled and went on adventures together. He changed fairly frequently as he experienced more of what this world had to offer, and that change terrified him. To change means to die and have another person running around with your name. For most of my life, I’ve dealt with this constant fear of the Future. The BBC’s “Doctor Who” helped show me as a child the importance of art, and how it can be used to make someone immortal. So, let’s talk about that. Together.

Last weekend, a friend invited me to watch her participate in one of the largest amateur circuses in the world. The entire day ended up being incredibly stressful, hectic, and socially exhausting, but at the same time, one of the calmest and most eye-opening experiences of my entire life. Watching a helicopter land 15 feet in front of me; a parade full of acrobats, businessmen, politicians, and a gang of biker clowns; a carnival run by some of the nicest people you’ll ever meet; and a circus event with a live band, performers aged 4-19, teenagers juggling fire, clowns spraying water at the audience, pre-teens balancing on top of each other seven-at-a-time while holding heavy weights while crossing a tight-rope–I finally know what it truly means to be open-minded and self-accepting. So, let’s talk that. Together.

As a young child, I remember being really excited to go to see the fireworks every year. Watching the emotionally powerful parade of colors dancing around in the sky to the beat of the roaring booms from the fireworks shells exploding in the air. I watched the beautiful artwork being made through the use of different types of fireworks, the careful timing required during the launch to sync the explosions up with music, and the sheer imagery of people gathering in mass to celebrate the simple fact they were free. I remember noticing all of these beautiful things as a small child, being amazed at what I saw, and not knowing how to communicate any of it. As I grew older and began experiencing problems with the sounds of fireworks explosions because of my Neurodivergency, I began to feel alien. This is not, however, the first time I’ve felt alien in life.

“What’s your plan for your career?” is the type of question I was asked nonstop when I graduated from high school.

Being diagnosed with ADHD myself, I can attest that learning disabilities can and do play a significant part in what your personality is like. One of the things I struggled with most as a child is trying to figure out which part of my personality was ‘me’ and which part was the ADHD. How different would I be if I was “normal”? How different would my friendships be, or my artwork be if my learning disabilities didn’t “hinder” me from reaching my full potential? Do I need to take medication just so that I can be “regulated” or “normal” like everyone else?

It’s official. A CGI Raccoon is the most relatable character I’ve ever seen… and suddenly my favorite superhero. But what makes this Rocket Raccoon so relatable? Why is Guardians of the Galaxy volume 3 being hailed as the greatest Marvel Movie since Endgame? And why in the hell did I plurge over $40 on movie tickets to watch this movie 3 times in theaters over the course of 3 days? Let’s discuss it together.

Minecraft. A game that millions of people in their early-to-mid ’20s will call a classic. Created by a man named Markus (AKA Notch), Minecraft began as a small indie game but quickly grew to become one of the most popular games ever made. In January 2023, according to Aakrit Sharma, 176 million players logged into Minecraft. My question is this: What makes Minecraft different from every other game? Why is it that I, along with hundreds of millions of other players around the world, hold a special place in our hearts for this silly block game?

I realize how toxic it is to have this kind of mindset, but the truth is that this feeling that I’m not good enough has been lurking in the shadows like cancer throughout my entire life. It’s shifted and changed and morphed over the years, but it’s always, at some level, been present. However, I think I might have finally discovered where this toxicity stirring within me may be originating from. Like the water forever flowing down over the edge of Niagra Falls, I have a never-ending fear of failure, and it’s been with me since I was just a child. Allow me to set the scene…

When I was 16 years old, I experienced a lot of firsts: My first job, my first car, my first time being in a club, etc. The first time I bought my own gas was among that long list of firsts. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, looking back at that moment now, with the rising gas prices of the two-and-a-half years, has taught me a new perspective on how to look at the world.

What do you think about when you hear the word “love”? I know. It’s a tough question to answer because it’s a really big word. It can have so many different connotations and meanings for different people. For some, this word may be associated with “trapped,” “isolated” or perhaps even “enslaved.” For others, it may be linked to words like “secure” or “protected.” When I think of love, I think of “companionship” and “freedom.”