( created by Mayvetrix )

Childhood/Teens:

I have always had a love for storytelling and creating videos. I remember when I was like 10 years old, I would play Minecraft on my Xbox 360, pretend like I was recording or something, and talk to myself as if I had an audience. When I was in 6th grade, I realized I didn’t need a computer or an fancy tech to make videos. I just needed something to film with. And so, I started making videos using my smartphone and the preinstalled, bare bones editing software, iMovie. I remember getting made fun in middle school for my dumb trash cringe videos, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was sharing my vision with the world, and although I wasn’t super skilled, I was doing the best I could at the time, which is what truly mattered.

By Freshman year, I had around 50 or 60 subscribers on my youtube. Not a lot, but even then, I remember being grateful to have literally anyone supporting me. I started doing Marching Band and trying to focus my energy on learning about music, photography, programming, and trying understand social interactions (btw, I was very.. let’s call it “socially challenged”). I ended up taking a break from making Youtube videos for a few years. I even went as far as to permanently delete a few videos from my childhood (a decision I regret now, looking back).

Overcoming Fears:

I started streaming in December of 2020. I wish I had written down the date, but I didn’t. The date I officially started streaming will forever be a mystery. Which is okay. It’s not really about when it started as much as that it did. Ever since I watched Dream blow up, I knew I wanted to get back into it, but I didn’t know if I had the necessary skills. I was suffering from a Fear of Failure. I was afraid I would put all of this time and energy and effort into this.. and no one would see it. It would be for nothing. I still struggle with this now, by the way. I often wonder why I do what I do. What I like to remind myself is that Vincent Gan Gogh died thinking himself a failure, but now he is considered one of the greatest painters of all time. I want to make an impact on the world around me. I want to leave the world a better place than I’ve found it. Whether or not people see my art is completely out of my control, so there’s no reason for me to allow these fears to control my life. All I can do is share my vision with the world, just as Van Gogh did, and hope that one day in the future someone will see it. I also like to remind myself that my value is not determined by the impact I make on others; my worth is not defined by how much I help others. I am intrinsically valuable because of my unique perspective on the world. No matter how successful I am now, or at any point in the future, I am valuable. You are important. The most important thing in life is that you are happy.