Beauty in a Train Ride

When I was still quite young,
The train was full of fun
domain between domains
Imagination uncontained

I can still hear the noise
the kid inside enjoyed
when I think long and hard
of the next-door Rail Yard

Loud Engines Rumble and Roar
My brain begins to Soar
Steam clouds Whistle and Screech
Large Worlds Appear in reach

Where will we go, I asked
Mom said, "A place to bask,
A field full of color,
a realm unlike any other!"

Far away worlds, we'd go,
in a train from long ago
in a vessel of old,
views of life made of gold

"Can we fly," I asked Mom
as she softly held my palm
"You'll soar high," she replied,
As the flowers passed by

"Let's stop here," I pleaded
She gave me a lesson I needed.
"Things pass by, and that's okay
Even I'll leave one day."

It's sad to leave behind,
flowers that brightly shine
You can look for a time
And then leave them behind.

Saying goodbye gives way
For the next joyful day,
These flowers loved by eyes
of the next passer-by.

The beauty now faded
My life now degraded
since I was persuaded
to take those drugs while jaded

Mundane life I disdain
I don't want to remain
Chains wrap my neck like reins
I choke, my hopes all drained

My mother in that train,
How she'd complain so profane
I should be restrained insane
At the very least, detained.

My routine so arcane
drugs control my domain
Something needs to be changed
Before I'm caught; arraigned

So I vainly refrain
The cocaine now abstained,
I rejoice and proclaim
control of my domain

A wish I'd ascertain
View that eloquent terrain
Ride the train again
Imagination obtained

Called my mom and regained
and her love ascertained.
I remember her smile
Her pretty side profile

We rode that loud train ride
One last time as she died
I realized in that mile
How Life is so fragile

As I carry bouquets
And read you this essay
This, I wish to replay
Everyone leaves someday

Visit worlds far away
You can be sad or say yay
I'm glad we lived today
Enjoyed the train's display

Life is an uphill climb,
And sometimes goes awry,
But hopefully, you'll find
Beauty in a Train Ride

What Is a Friend?

A friend is a rock you can lean on.

A friend is comforting when you need someone to cry on.

A friend is vulnerable, because trust strengthens your bond.

A friend is accepting, because they love you for who you are.

A friend is frustrating, because they call you out on your B.S.

A friend is giving, not to get something, but because they care.

A friend is gracious because they know you have each other's backs.

A friend is supportive, because they want to see you succeed.

A friend is grateful for you, because they see how valuable you are.

A friend is affirming, because they want you to see your value too.

A friend is unrelenting; they will fight for you and make sure you are okay.

A friend is unconditional, because love isn't dependent on what you do for them.

A friend is irreplaceable, because it takes a special kind of person to be this amazing.

Hats off, Jazzish

I'm glad we met on Twitch

You fulfill my evry wish

My life was so amiss

But now my heart is rich

You snitched on the abyss

And calmed the noisy voices

My brain which was foolish

Repaired from broken pieces

A puzzled now finished

Rebuild with reverence

You helped me reminisce

Revealed my soul still lives

A kid yearning for bliss

And wanting happiness

A wish I had dismissed

And buried in the pits

Beneath the shame and sin

When the depression hit

Opened my eyes, miss

With love without the kiss

Platonic soulmates ditch

The Normal Romance Pitch

Why don't it feel amiss

To have a clone; a glitch

Descending from Heaven

Angelic presence riffs

Soft stories, sobbing, tears drip

The distance is a bitch

The things that I would give

To squeeze you till your bits

To have your kind of wits

To tell those funny bits

To wear those awesome fits

Read scripts without the slips

Be able to forgive

Others, what a gift

You have amazing skills

They often give me chills

My spirit you fulfill

My love no longer sits

It soars right off the cliff

When you blessed me with

A metamorphosis

Lots of words; can't focus

Look above to notice

My fondness is endless

Hats off to you, Jazzish <3

The Purpose of Life

What's the purpose of life

If we will one day die?

We're flying through the sky

On a rock fueled by sunshine

The glimmer in your eyes

Sometimes makes me blind

When I look at you shine

Time goes on standby

As Moonlight belies

You glow like fireflies

As you soar so high

You're loved by every passer-by

But what of that voice that mummifies?

Could it ever be satisfied?

Your angelic haze mystifies

I feel I might meet my demise

I know you're confused why I stay nearby

How could someone like you give me butterflies?

Why do you try to hide

When you can let yourself shine?

Let the darkness inside be declassified

Be dignified; your love forever intensified.

I wish you could realize

You're beautiful even when you cry

You were too preoccupied

Singing other people lullabies

Did you purposefully leave yourself denied?

Or did you forget you deserve loved supplied?

How could you imply

Something so mortified

That you could be disqualified

From having love detoxified

Your self-deprecation is nullified

By countless moments you deified

You can't deny our years together justify

The ways I'm qualified to say you're worth being glorified

The rooms you enter are revitalized

With love and compassion multiplied

Why are you so terrified

Of kind words edified?

Now I legally can't lie

As I hereby testify

You're beauty is magnified

By the person who lives inside

The spark in your heart electrifies

The people whose lives you've revivified

Making laughter from outcry

And you joke so benign

An emerald personified

Our lives forever rubified

By your immaculate goldeneyes

That'll shine 'till the day you die

Someone who always gives it another try,

Whose strength can't be quantified,

That's what I identify

Every time we say Hi.

And time passes by

As we talk all night

When you're being shy

And the voice says to hide

When self-worth is hard to find

Make that voice step aside

Because others get to decide

where their love is applied

So now you must decide,

Which option will you comply?

You you can deny

With a cute little lie...

Or you can accept and reply

With a message that should be amplified

You feel gratified by those inclined to ratify

The truth that you shine like starlight

That they, too, look sublime

On this rock fueled by sunshine

Floating through the sky

For this limited time

Isn't that the purpose of life?

To help others feel ALIVE

17 Years

It's been 17 years
And still feels like yesterday;
It brings me to tears
that I have so much left to say..

Think about the life we could've lived
My sins, you could forgive
What if we could try again?
Wash away those bloodstains

I'd never let you go.
My life wouldn't be so low
Wish there was a way to show
I regret treating you like a foe

Time don't work like that,
Always Moving forward
Never looking back
My screams are never heard

Why'd you have to leave
As I began lettin you in
I know I need to grieve
All this cryin and lyin
is makin my head spin

I say that I'm fine
But they all know I'm lyin...
They say grieving hurts
They don't warn you
it's such a curse

Losing you so suddenly
It hurts probably
worse than death
I watch as I slowly lose my breath

I found you luckily.
You were so bubbly.
When I pushed you away abruptly
Didn't realize how much I'd miss your company

The bubbles have gone
Now you're just cold
Your corpse is rotting
My life into charred coals

They say time heals all wounds,
I feel like I'm being pruned

What of the scars your loss left behind
I wake up in a coffin,
My heart sobbin and coughin,
Wishing your lifeless husk was next to mine

I'm still crushing on you
even though you're gone
My heart is crushed by your loss
Why can't I move on?

I'm sorry I ignored when you'd ring
Even though I knew you were hurting
I didn't want to hurt you
But my inaction cost you

You haunt my dreams
Like a ghost with wings
I'm trapped in a maze
Everywhere I look I see your face

You were everything,
You were my person.
I'm sorry.
I'm still learnin

You haunt me in my dreams
But what's dead is dead
What's gone is gone
Your memory can live on

I can take a leap of Faith
Move towards life's next Embrace
Rediscover my Identity
With the Lessons You Taught Me

Goodbye doesn't mean Forget
But thanks for the time Spent
I'll remember you
Knowing our Love was True

Goodbye. Thanks for the good times.

Thanks for taking the lead
And for showing me what it truly means
To embrace your own hug
And give yourself love

I know I can't go back and try again
Wash away those blood stains
And it's okay,
To walk away
from that day

Though I miss when you'd ring
After winter comes spring
After the desolate cold,
The flowers pedals are bold

Enjoy the vibrance is in the air
Though our hearts need repair
After the whole the affair,
I can still find love elsewhere.

Angels and Silhouettes

You were an angel
Glowing in the darkness
How could I ever treat you
With so much harshness?

I can't stop thinking
Where my actions have led
No amount of distraction
Can make me forget that you're dead

I'm grieving for an angel
Another victim of this crazy world.
I look around and all I see
Are angels dying all around me

I feel so very alone
surrounded by the corpses from my past
How can ever I move on
When no one in my life ever lasts

I can't stop blaming myself
For something I know I couldn't control
It doesn't stop me wishing
Your loss didn't leave such a big hole

You were a darling angel
A perfect paragon of virtue
You were always there for me
And in return I blocked you

Maybe one day you'd forgive
all of the horrible things I did
You chose to no longer live
Now I'm stuck in this pit I fell in

You deserved so much better
Than the way I abandoned you
I'm told to forgive myself
But that's not something I know how to do

I know that you're gone
And that I should move on
But I can't stop thinking
What if I hadn't done you wrong?

What if I hadn't said goodbye
On that fateful day?
What if I had stayed?
And told you everything would be okay?

Present at your funeral
I stand before a pale empty vessel
I ask myself who I am
Compared to someone so special

So many things I wish I could change
So many things I regret
I just wish I could tell you
I'm sorry.

I guess I'll just have to tell your silhouette.