Rocket Raccoon: Overcoming Trauma

Written By Weston

It’s official. A CGI Raccoon is the most relatable character I’ve ever seen… and suddenly my favorite superhero. But what makes this Rocket Raccoon so relatable? Why is Guardians of the Galaxy volume 3 being hailed as the greatest Marvel Movie since Endgame? And why in the hell did I plurge over $40 on movie tickets to watch this movie 3 times in theaters over the course of 3 days? Let’s discuss it together.

A quick warning before I get into this: This story contains topics of depression and child abuse. If these subjects are triggering for you, please seek the resources listed at the bottom of this article so that you can get the help you need. You deserve better. Thank you. (Also, spoilers for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3)

According to the National Children’s Alliance, it’s estimated that 618,000 children were made victims of neglect and abuse during 2020 in the United States alone. However, this is not an issue exclusive to the US. The CDC states that as of November 2018, at least 50% of children in Asia, Africa, and North America experienced violence in just the previous year alone. Abuse is real, and sadly, relatively common. 2015 is the year with the most reports of child abuse for the past decade with, in just that one year, 683,221 cases of child abuse (Statista.com). Coincidently, that year, at thirteen years of age, I became a part of that statistic. Not only did I become a part of that statistic, but I did so while living in Texas, which is, according to Statista, the state with the highest number of unique victims of Child Abuse in the country.

[Total number of victims of Child Abuse from 2012 - 2021, according to Statica.com)

Now, I could give lots of important statistics about why this happens and what can be done to prevent it, and I’m sure I’ll go into that in a future post, but when I was thirteen, I did not care about the political or societal reasons for abuse being so rampant in the world. I was a young, impressionable child who should have been able to trust and depend on my parents to love me, care for me, and guide me. Instead, I experienced verbal abuse, including constant screaming with insults including names like “Crack-Baby.” In an effort to try to prevent triggers and for just general privacy, I will not go into much detail about what happened. All I will say is that many times I felt like I was in danger. I feared for my life. I felt trapped, helpless, and isolated. I did not sleep a lot of nights. After trying to call the police to receive help, I was falsely arrested and detained for a night because they believed the words of the adult (abuser) over me. I couldn’t even trust the law-enforcement system, the people whose job is supposedly to stand up for the little guy and protect the innocent–I couldn’t even rely on them. So, who could I trust?

“Unlike ordinary sadness or grief, which can occur temporarily after a loss, the symptoms of depression occur nearly every day for weeks—sometimes months or years—interfering with all aspects of an individual’s life.” – Laura Close, American Addiction Centers

After I left Texas and cut off contact with my abusers, the issues were not over. Similar to how cockroaches create nests inside of your pipes or drains, the mental strongholds of depression, anxiety, fear of abandonment, the complete destruction of my identity, and a complete inability to trust others had all created permanent infestations inside my brain. Immediately, I began going through counseling. By the time I was a sophomore in high school, I had already had at least four different therapists. I knew all of the coping strategies, but yet, I still had that constant fear in romantic relationships that my partners would leave, and I constantly had voices in my head telling me that I wasn’t good enough or skilled enough, or charming, or useful. I think it’s safe to say that even after years and years of therapy, this abuse will never ever stop being a part of my story. No matter how many coping skills I learned, no matter how much baking soda I put down those pipes, I will never be able to kill all of the roaches. The root problem was that I didn’t know who I was. How could I thought-challenge the phrase “You are pointless and worthless; A mistake,” if I didn’t know what my worth or my purpose was? I was just a victim, yes. I knew what my abuser said to me wasn’t true, but I had nothing to replace it with. Who was I, other than a kid subject to the horrors of evil?

Fast Forward to May 7th, 2023. I went to go see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 in theaters with my aunt and my brothers (Warning: Spoilers, by the way). Being a huge fan of Peacemaker, along with the previous Guardians of the Galaxy movies, I had high expectations for this movie. James Gunn is one of my favorite directors, and after seeing this movie, I have to say I am even more in love with the man and his craft. Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 follows Rocket Raccoon’s origin story, coming from a place of abuse and learning to not let his past define him. A moment that could probably very easily get overlooked is when the rest of the Guardians, Rocket’s friends, and family, learn about his abuse. They are struck with horror and grief. Nebula, a character whose father literally gouged her eyes out and replaced them with black, demon-like Prosthetics as a method of torture says, “It’s worse than what Thanos did to me.” It’s a quick moment, but it helps to show the full extent of just how much suffering and trauma Rocket went through during his childhood. And yet, not even his closest friends and family, even after many, many years of road-tripping together, even after countless near-death experiences and universes-traveled together, not even they knew about his excruciating past.

It’s not uncommon for victims of abuse to be quiet about their past. Psychcentral says, “Some abuse survivors may not speak up about their experiences for a variety of reasons. Abuse survivors who choose not to disclose their experiences of past or current abuse are sometimes referred to as ‘silent victims.'” Silent victims will be quiet about their experiences for a variety of reasons. One of these reasons is Shame. When someone goes through something so intense, they will sometimes think that they somehow caused it. For example, I once thought that if I had just listened to my abuser’s instructions better, then I would not have been punished and ridiculed like I was. If I had just met the unrealistic and literally impossible expectations set for me, my parent would have been able to be proud of me. Rocket shows us that he also feels this way through his guilt and the deaths of his friends from before the Guardians. He still thinks that all of that pain and loss was, at least in part, his fault.

I want to make this abundantly clear: That thought process is wrong. No one who is abused, whether it be emotionally, physically, verbally, sexually, financially, or in any other form-It is not your fault. You are a victim of an evil person doing an evil thing to you. You don’t deserve any of it. You, like everyone else, deserve nothing but privacy, respect, admiration, and love. You are amazing, inherently, just by being you. The question you have to figure out is, who is that? Who are you?

All of these thoughts and memories are flooding through my brain as we see flashbacks from Rocket’s childhood. Then, when Rocket heard the voice of his abuser for the first time in years, he freezes. That’s a feeling I know all too well. For years after the events of 2015, I avoided my abuser. Any mention of even her name caused immediate panic attacks. It took years for me to just be able to say, “I’m okay.” I remember clear as day the first time I was able to say those two words together in a casual conversation. And so, when Rocket’s eyes went wide-eyed at the sound of his abuser’s voice, I immediately saw myself in him. The movie goes on, giving us more information about his past, until eventually, Rocket is face-to-face with his abuser. The High Evolutionary instinctively begins ridiculing Rocket, physically assaulting him, throwing him around the room, deadnaming him, and saying that he was just an experiment gone wrong. A mistake. After hearing his dead name, Rocket stands up to his abuser and states, “The name is Rocket.” Later in that scene, one of the other guardians proposes that they kill the High Evolutionary as a way to punish him. Instead of giving into his rage and anger, Rocket stays firm in his newfound identity as a protector for the little guy, and rejects the proposition, saying “No…because I’m a freakin’ Guardian of the Galaxy.” Although his abuse was forever going to be a part of his past experiences, he was not going to let that impact his future. He chose his own identity. He was so much more than the pain and the lies fed to him all those years. And at the end of the day, he lived his life on his terms: soaring through the stars with his friends and family, as he had always dreamed, defending and saving those who can’t save themselves.

Rocket is an example of how to overcome your trauma. Don’t let it define you. Don’t let that piece of shit person continue to have control over your future. You went through something horrible. You have the ability to connect with others who have also gone through something evil, but that is not who you are. Take it as a part of you, but don’t let it consume you. Find people who you can connect with and trust and form a new family and a new future for yourself. Ask yourself, “Who do I want to be?” and go towards that future. Don’t pursue a future because of hatred for someone else. Pursue a future that will make you happy. At the end of the day, you deserve to be happy. The fact that you have endured all of that and you are still here is incredible, and I’m proud of you. Never forget that you are so strong. You are so unique. Most importantly, you are amazing. Thank you, for being you.

Weston
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